What happened! ? :-)

I believe I owe my readers an apology. After numerous emails and even phone calls, asking what happened to me, I thought I would let you in on the secret. which isn't a big one really. the main problem (?) is that my mind has just shut down on things to blog about, actually that isn't true, I have a few ideas going through my mind of what I wish to talk about next, but so far I haven't sat down and written it out yet.

Another thing, I no longer have access to internet as much as I used to, and before you start feeling sorry for me, don't. I now have my life back! seriously, when you have internet 24/7 you are online 24/7 or pretty near. I really truly, feel it was one of the best things that happened, although I will say, I do miss google. :-( but on the bright side, I have money in my wallet again. :-)

If my readers feel they can give me ideas on what to blog about, feel free to give me a shout either by commenting or by email. my email address is offthewollman@gmail.com

And one more thing, if you haven't noticed yet, I have removed the post titled "Kelvin's story" I had a few reservations about publishing it at all, but I did, but after deep reflecting I decided to delete it, after all that is someone else's story and words, not mine. I am sorry about the comments, but they go away with the post, so.....

anyways, please bear with me.

Baptismal Vows of the Hutterian Church

Questions asked of the applicants before the prayer:

1. Do you now acknowledge the doctrines, which have hitherto been taught to you, as being the truth and right foundation to salvation?

2. Do you also believe in and agree with the twelve articles of our Christian faith which comprise:

The Apostle's Creed
1. I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of Heaven and earth.
2. and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord
3 who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the virgin Mary,
4. suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried; He descended into Hell:
5 the third day He rose again from the dead.
6. He ascended into Heaven,
7. and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty.
8. from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.
9. I believe in the Holy Spirit,
10. one holy Christian Church, the fellowship of saints,
11. the forgiveness of sins,
12. the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. 

(each repeats the Apostle's Creed)

3. Do you also desire the prayer of intercession of the pious that God may forgive and remit the sins committed by you in ignorance?

4. Do you desire to consecrate, give and sacrifice yourself to the Lord God in the covenant of Christian baptism?

Here follows the prayer. (after this prayer, while kneeling, follow these six questions:)

1. Do you now sufficiently understand the word of God and acknowledge it as the only path to life eternal?

2. Do you also truly and heartily repent of the sins which you have in ignorance committed against God and do you desire henceforth to fear God, nevermore to sin against God, and rather to suffer death than than ever again to sin willfully against God?

3. Do you also believe that your sins have been forgiven and remitted through Christ and the prayer if intercession of His people?

4. Is it also your desire to accept brotherly punishment and admonition and also to apply the same to others when it is needful?

5. Do you desire thus to consecrate, five and sacrifice yourself with soul and body and all your possessions to the Lord in Heaven, and to be obedient unto Christ and His church?

6. Do you desire thus to establish a covenant with God and all His people and to be baptized upon your confessed belief?

(Note: all of these questions must be answered "yes")

(The minister, laying on his hands and sprinkling with water, speaks the following words:)


   "On thy confessed belief I baptize thee, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. God Almighty in heaven who has given you grace and mercy through the death of Christ and the prayer of His Saints may clothe you with fortitude from on high and inscribe your name into the book of eternal life, to preserve thee in piety and faith until death, this is my wish to thee through Jesus Christ. Amen

(For a little more information click on the link,  http://www.hutterites.org/our-beliefs/baptism/  this is a website written by Hutterites,)

My thoughts on "Hutterites, the nine our story to freedom"

Well, I am not sure how I am going to start with this book, so I will just write it as it comes to mind. I had been anticipating reading it, and now that I finished it, I have to say it didn't disappoint, it was exactly as I had thought it would be, a sad bitter unforgiving story, there is drama, there is intrigue, at times it is funny...but....the underlying fact is bitterness.  For once, just once I want to read a book by an ex-hutterite that would be truly honest and write all the facts and the truth, and not just their side of it, as we all know the truth has 3 sides, your side, my side and then the actual truth. One of my friends read the book and said: “how sad, the colony must have somehow failed them when they were children” I am more of the mind that they failed the colony.

They have before and after pictures in the book. This is almost funny, I wonder how long they searched through their old photos to find the somber sad ones they used for the before pictures. And then the one they used for the after, happy, joyful, dancing, water-skiing, all things they were not allowed to do in the colony.  (and I might add a lot which are not approved of at all, eg: dancing.....) According to them, we who are still in community are sad, depressed and missing out on all the wonderful things the “world” has to offer! Pardon me if I don’t feel that way, rather I feel sorry for them who find small worthless passing of time this world has to offer.

They start the book off with a dedication to Jesus, and continue it with:  “that they the nine, are presenting this work with the love of God, in truth without any bitterness, unforgiveness or resentment towards the Hutterites” well, I am sorry but I missed the parts where they presented it as such! There is a lot of underlying bitterness and hurt (that may or may not be justified) they claim that what they wrote is the truth, well; I am not going to deny that some truth may be present in what they wrote, but leaving out a whole lot of other truths, can and will distort the whole picture. One of my sister-in-laws’s when she read the book, put it aside and said: “where are the ‘born again Christians’ that are supposedly writing this book? I cannot see forgiveness at all!”

I am going to put down my thoughts and feelings as best as I can, I will try (and I say try because I already know I won’t quite succeed...) not to be too sarcastic as I write.....

No.1, this one thing irked a friend of mine to no end. “Each (of the nine) of them had to be taught how to clearly and effectively communicate, to relate and express his or her heart socially. The very basics had to be taught, including clothing, proper hygiene, and etiquette” !!!!  What?! Taught proper hygiene? Etiquette? Where were they raised? And how? Where were their parents? Each and every child in the colony gets taught that by their parents and the German school teacher. Each and every one of us know the song by heart, “Beim tisch gebet sei ernst”  a song that verse by verse teaches hygiene and etiquette!  When I went to German school we had what our German school teacher called health inspection, we had to have a  handkerchief, clean nails, brushed teeth, soapy clean fresh washed hands and face, combed hair. And woe betide the student that forgot, a sufficient scolding and shaming was what we got...now I don’t know if every German school teacher did that, but I know our parents didn't let us out of the house if we hadn't done that.  As I said I don’t know if everybody did that, but I can’t believe the nine weren't taught proper hygiene at all.

One would think when reading this book; the colony was/is a depressing way of life. I won’t deny some of what they said wasn’t/isn’t true, but I am going to talk about some of what they said.

Gossip and slander....now this is true, I know I have done it, and it is being done. There really is no excuse but I will try and explain.  We are human, we stumble and we fall, and yes, we gossip and talk about people behind their backs. but does that in itself not tell you that we are not mindless robots under control, that we are free to speak out minds? (not that that makes it right...) Most of the gossip is harmless, and not all gossip is evil. come on, we all do it, as for slander yes, that happens too, but what they didn't mention is that most of the time, when we do that, we come back to the person we hurt and we ask for forgiveness. And it makes you wonder, why isn't it mentioned at all? Or would that defeat the purpose of the book?  In a colony we are all expected as much as we can to pull our own weight, by helping out as much as we can. If a person is ill or can’t for one reason or another, we help out, but if a person can and doesn't, trust me, he or she will get to hear about it. For example, if we have a heavy work day in the garden or slaughter house and someone is missing, who says they are sick, fine, but if the said someone is at home cleaning her house or dusting rugs or the next day is wearing the newest dress which was just shared, they will hear about it. And yes, this happens.  And then try not to gossip or say anything. The proper way to go about it, if it happens more than once is to let the leader (in this case the minister) talk to this person. But for the truly sick, it’s another story, and even those who can’t help out, try to and help out in other ways. If they for some reason or another can’t be in the garden to pick string beans, they will always ask for a basket of beans to clip the tops and ends. So to conclude yes, there is talk and gossip, but we do make things right. To the one girl that ‘took a midol to go to work’ because she didn't want others to talk about her if she missed work, I am pretty sure that even now she takes a midol to go to work.  Of course now if she misses too much work, she doesn't get paid. So yes, I’m pretty sure she still takes that midol to work. 

The drinking...yes there is that, and again, we are not perfect, (although why someone would tell the whole world her father was an alcoholic is beyond me.  Underage drinking is not approved of no matter what they say. Not saying it isn't done, but can anyone tell me if, they have a 16, 18 year old son, and they have a hard day’s work they won’t share a beer with them? I am not going to downplay the seriousness of drinking and the consequences but I will also not say nothing is being done about it. If a certain member has a drinking problem he will be questioned and in some cases there are those who have joined AA. And yes we do care when someone has an addiction, and our ministers are there to help.

To those that felt they were restricted in their Christian growth, why? Was it because their beliefs were contrary to the colony’s? When we live in the community and are baptized in it, we are expected to uphold and live the convictions of that community, when personal gain and income is contrary to the teachings of the colony, yes you can be expected to be reprimanded and admonished. There is no room for individuals to live according to how they want and work only for their own ends and the colony’s gain is put aside. For how can a colony go forward if its members only care for their own gain? Who will take care of those who can’t?  Which brings to point the story of being locked out of the garden, if you’re there for personal gain, what is left for the colony’s? I know as a child we were not permitted to go into the strawberry patch, (also because of damage done to the plants) unless the German school teacher was there with us. One wonders what is not being told when they tell of sneaking out for a “few ears of corn” was it truly only for a snack, or was it for more? Many a colony has gone to financial ruin because members have been more concerned with making money on the sly for themselves than putting it into the community. To be fair, maybe that is all they wanted was an ear or two to eat at night, but from experience, there is the stealing and gaining for personal use that is a problem. And even though it isn't mentioned here, I think it can be said was the reason for it.

There are so many things that I want to touch upon yet, but this is long enough already, I will try and discuss some other points later. But I do want to comment  upon Glenda’s story a bit.  Dear Glenda, really, can you really truly not understand why your parents do not acknowledge your marriage to a divorced man? Our English school teacher said: “I am not a Hutterite but even I can see why her parents would have a problem with her marriage.” You quote so many biblical verses to justify your marriage but you deliberately and conveniently omit Jesus further sayings on the subject of divorce. Yes Jesus did allow for divorce “except it be for adultery” but He did NOT allow for remarriage. "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery" (Mark 10:11-12). (whoever means anybody and everybody, NO exceptions) In all that we can safely presume that God wants us to forgive the erring spouse, He did allow divorce in cases of adultery, but that wasn't mandatory, how many times did He say we should forgive?  As for Paul: he is NOT saying that when someone deserts his/her partner that the deserted  are free to remarry, he is only saying they are not ‘enslaved’ (bound) to that marriage. Let them go and so remain.  Now we can quote and misquote bible verses back and forth, but the fact remains that God does not change neither does His word. He absolutely hated divorce then and He does so now.  I am sorry for you Glenda, but do not presume to think that your parents actually hate you; they may hate the fact that you did marry a divorce man, and they grieve for you, but in all that they still love you.  As a ministers daughter you could and should have been more compassionate to their beliefs and convictions.  Of course this is your story, but in no way do you at all consider how they must feel. I think I can safely say they are praying for their daughter daily, and that they do love her.

An underlying note that is foremost when reading this book that is strongly noticed and that is a rebellious spirit, under no circumstance did these young people actually try to commit to the colony and it’s teachings at all, there is complaining to no end, is it when the colony entrusted them with a job, (even when it was the one they didn’t want) or where ever they could. The sacredness of church, our dress, our baptism is being mocked. These are all things I want to comment on but will do so later, as not to make this blog so long. Please feel free to comment and I will try to answer any questions.

Six Degrees of Separation

   Has anyone heard of the term 'Six degrees of separation?' It's the theory that any two people in the world are connected in some way by no more than six people. eg: I know someone who knows someone who knows...

   I did some searching on line and with all I found and read supposedly this theory works. On some web pages they go as far as cutting it back to three degrees. They also mention that with social medias this degree gets even smaller. But I won't go into that one because as we all know, not all of our 'friends' on face book, and followers on twitter  are people that we actually and personally know.

   So here are a few examples of mine, my dad has a friend Brian, (who is originally from England) his mother's cousin regularly took tea with the queen. so as I know Brian personally the queen is only 2 people away from me. 

   I know someone who has met Paul Brandt. one degree away!

   One writer on line describes that we are much closer than 6 degrees, that if we go another route we would find a connection much closer. so this could go on and on in different ways!

   Of course being a Hutterite the circle will grow smaller. for example if one Hutterite meets a famous whoever, chances are we will know someone who knows that one Hutterite, if we don't personally already know that one. 

   Does anyone have any celebrity or famous figures that they can lay claim to via the six degrees of separation? Please feel free to share!

On Pacifism

Most Hutterites grow up knowing what pacifism is or what it means at least in a basic sense, for the most part anyways, of course there are some that  have no idea what it means and what our stands are or should be on pacifism. Brings to mind a story our german school teacher told us when he was at a funeral at a colony in the states. He was visiting at a relatives house, when a young man entered in combat clothes. He didn’t think anything of it until he started speaking Huttrish, so he asked him what his story was. Turns out this young man left the colony and joined the army, and was now a commander. So he asked him what it is a commander does, after side stepping the issue a bit, he answered that as a commander he decides what should be done, gives the final say in combat. This shocked our german school teacher to no end, he turned to this young man’s father and said: “so what do you think?” the father said: “I am proud of my son” “And your stance on pacifism?” the father replied: “What’s pacifism?”

   When our teacher told this story to us, we laughed, we thought it kind of funny that he wouldn’t know what pacifism is, and one of us actually said, that maybe the guy didn’t know what the word means, and our teacher replied, “actually he didn’t, but he wasn’t even aware that in our history, we have always taken a stand for non violence” and shaking his head he continued: “And the sad part is, when I tried to explain it to them, they were as shocked as I was, only they were shocked that I said I would not fight for any reason!”

 

   My uncle tells of a phone conversation he had with an ex-hutterite who left with his family and his daughter who became an RCMP officer. He was greatly saddened by the pride in this father when he bragged that his daughter was the first Hutterite to become a police officer. And when my uncle challenged him to what our forefathers believed in an what we still believe in he actually called them and us cowards. My uncle then hung up on him, shaking his head, and explaining to us that telling him that nonresistance is not cowardice, but bravery of a different kind altogether wasn’t worth telling him.

  These are my first introductions to the fact that there were ex hutterites who had left and joined the military. And my first initial response was shock, C’mon we all grew up with the stories of our forefathers who refused to bear arms and pay war taxes, even at the risks of their own lives and that of their families. The story of the Hofer brothers in our not so distant past, who died in prison of mistreatment because they took a stand, and refused to bear arms and wear the military uniform, all this and more, is rampant in my mind. Their answers to those when they were challenged  about obeying the laws was that they must obey God rather than man. And even then they sometimes failed, there is an interesting account in our Chronicle on Dec. 18, 1633 when their Lords came with Hussars to steal their horses, in the panic they came out to defend their horses, and a very ugly affair arose regarding this incident. And even though a lot of people then said they were in their rights to protect themselves and their animals, the elders of the church wrote a very serious letter rebuking them for what they did.

   From a very young age we are taught that fighting back is wrong. Not to say we don’t and didn’t, I know I did, I had regular fights with my sister and my brothers, when we were small it was physical and as we grew older it was more verbal. But even through all this it was implanted in us that it was wrong.

   In German school and Sunday School when my uncle Joseph was still teacher, he instilled in us the stories and the reasoning behind all this, the radical teachings of Jesus, turning the other cheek, to love our enemies, and even our young minds were able to grasp the reasoning behind it even if we didn’t understand it fully.

   Today as I teach kindergarten, just watching the children, you can see that this teaching of Jesus goes against our/their  very nature! But as we all know non-resistance is something we have to be taught, for when one child takes another’s truck, what happens? As you all know there is a lot of screaming and fighting. So I try to sit them down and tell them why we can’t fight, which isn’t that easy, trying to tell a child that he should rather give up his truck than fight with the other child to get it back. I guess someday it will (hopefully!)

   And today? This brings me to the theme of my blog, are there still people out there that are convicted by the Spirit to take a stand and practise Pacifism? Looking around me, I ask this question, there are of course the Hutterites and the Amish, and some Mennonites, I say some Mennonites, because a number of Mennonite churches are no longer non-resistance. Somewhere I read that in the second world war there were a lot of young Mennonite boys who signed up. Which brings to mind my grandmother telling us that during the second world war some men and boys had to go to camp, because they were CO’s they had to do something else for the country, planting trees and other things.

   I have read numerous books on pacifism, and a few stand out. One of them, “the kingdom of God is within you” written by Leo Tolstoy is interesting, but it definitely isn’t light reading. I was actually quite surprised when I read this book, I didn’t know that Leo Tolstoy was a pacifist. I read this book a few years ago, and all I really remember is that he had valid points, very much the ones we have.

   The other book is called “The kingdom that turned the world upside down” by David Bercot. I first saw this book in my uncle’s library and when he was done, I borrowed it and read it. Talk about an eye opener! This book draws you in right from the start with the accounting of the taking of Jerusalem by the crusaders in July 1099. The way the author describes this massacre is done in such a way that I was puzzled, what is this book about? He describes how the crusaders prayed even the Pope had blessed their mission! and when all hope seemed lost how God turned it all around and defeated the Muslims, and infidels. An accounting by an eyewitness tells us how they the crusaders sang and praised God for the victory. By now we are thinking God must be on their side, the way things just happened, but he ends the first chapter with the question: “Did Jesus view this massacre as something joyous? Had the crusaders truly advanced the Kingdom of God, or had they done great harm to it?” And then he talks about the Kingdom of God and what it truly is. A kingdom built on love, where we literally turn the other cheek, where we pray for those who curse and harm us. Where we love our enemies. He also tells the history of nonresistance and how the radical teachings of Jesus were ‘lost’ through the centuries. How the churches of then and today totally twist the meaning of Jesus and His teachings of loving our enemies. I have read this book numerous times, and even bought a copy for my own personal  library.

   David Bercot takes the title of his book from Acts 17:6 “They dragged Jason and some brethren to the rulers of the city, crying out, ‘these who have turned the world upside down have come here too.’”  And truly it is a world upside down when we follow Jesus!

   And the other book? I first heard about “A change of Allegiance” by Dean Taylor from a social networking site by Hutterites. The discussion about this book intrigued me enough to get an interlibrary loan for a copy of this book. And what a book! We all can stand and say we are pacifist, but how many of us have been called to the stand regarding our beliefs and convictions? Here is a book that tells us about the journey of two people who were in the army, and what happened to them when they started reading the bible. How they were convicted by the Holy Spirit and radical words of Jesus and the sermon on the mount, and that Jesus truly meant exactly what he said when he said to turn the other cheek. This book fascinated me to no end. This was in today’s world, in my life time, not in the far distance of history, so when I finished this book, I searched around for a copy for myself, I finally found one at the Baker bookshop. I reread it countless times, each time more and more impressed by the way God lead these two.

   One of the events he writes about stands out in my mind. When he was to appear for the hearing regarding his applying for CO and exemptions, he writes that the Mennonite church gave him a pamphlet to read with questions that he might be asked. But he got an overwhelming feeling to put the book away. He remembered a powerful promise that Jesus gave for exactly moments like this, that we are not to worry about how or what we should answer, the Holy Spirit will teach us in that very hour and put the words in our mouths. He put the book aside and trusted in the Holy Spirit and it was exactly so! Reminded me of how our forefathers did the same thing when they appeared before their persecutors and were on trial for their faith. God put the words in their mouths.

   At the end of the book there is a small blurb about the author, where there is a picture of him and his family in conservative Mennonite dress, and it mentions that they now reside in Ephrata, Pennsylvania. When I read this I thought why is Ephrata so familiar? And then it clicked Charity church! I must say I was slightly disappointed when I realized that he was now with Charity, and those of you who are familiar with the story of Charity church and the Hutterites will know what I mean. But then I thought to myself, Charity can’t be all that bad, just because we ‘lost’ a lot of people from the Hutterite church to Charity, doesn’t mean that God can’t and doesn’t use Charity to draw people to Him. Which is all that matters anyway in the long run, that we end up where God wants us to be, which is with Him. So I put that all to rest, but when I heard a few years later that Dean Taylor and his family were at Elmendorf, and were seriously considering the Hutterian way of life, I have to admit, there was joy in my heart. For a change we were gaining from Charity instead of losing! (Not that it is a competition, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t matter)

   Anyways, I few days ago I mustered up the courage to call Elmendorf and speak to Dean himself, and I am so glad I did, although the half hour was not enough for him to answer all my questions and for him to tell all his story. Someday I hope to meet him and his family. I did ask how he got to hear about the Hutterites, and he mentioned Peter Hoover, and his books. He studied a lot of Anabaptist history and through that and his association with the Mennonites he met up with the Hutterites. He also mentioned that the ex-hutterites who are with Charity church were the most encouraging and supportive when he decided to explore hutterites and our faith. He has now been at Elmendorf for about 2 ½ months, he still hasn’t joined, (which as we know isn’t that easy,) but it certainly will be interesting to see where his journey with God will lead him.

   And me? I sit and I wonder, when the time comes, could I do all that? Turn the other cheek, stand by and watch my family be killed and not lift a hand to fight back? Somewhere I read that ‘there is at least one person in this world that we would die for.’  I believe that to be true, I think most of us would easily die for one of our children or friends, but would any one of us die for an enemy? Could I like Dirk Willems, who could have escaped his enemies, turn around and help my pursuer and rescue him from an icy river where he would have drowned had not Dirk pulled him out and saved him? And thus get captured and be tortured and burned at the stake? He could so easily have continued running and escape and return to his family, but Dirk loved Jesus and he believed in the radical teachings of Jesus, and he believed with all his heart and staked his life on the fact that Jesus truly meant exactly what he said. thus he couldn’t not turn back. And that is what Jesus asks us. I can sit here and say, “yes I could” but I really think that we can’t say or know that until we are actually faced with this question. I pray I never have to, but the time may come again when we are faced with this and what will we do? And like David Bercot ends his book with the statement: “Let’s do our part in turning the world upside down!” because the time is coming and God will test us. Are we ready?

   There is a saying “It is easier to die for Christ than it is to live for Him” I am not quite certain I totally agree with this saying, because I think it takes a great deal of courage to die and suffer for Jesus, but at the same time I know what it is saying, sometimes just living for Christ seems so hard, I do know a few  times when I have personally said nothing and walked away  regarding my convictions, when I was too afraid to speak up, too “ashamed” to show who I am and what I believe in, so yes I can see what that saying means in that sense, in today’s world many of us are silent rather than speak up, sometimes even compromising our convictions, and sometimes even to people of our own faith! So I pray that I and all of us can live and die for Christ, when and if that day comes.

 

Hutterites and Social Media

Hutterites have always been on top of any 'new' technologies that have shown up, but the last few years have seen such rapid advances that even the most liberal communities have voiced their concerns, regarding the easy access of Internet and cell phones. Most colonies give their male members a cell phone as soon as they are 15 or baptized  depending on the colony, but few have data plans or even texting plans on these phones. That, however, has not stopped those that don't have it.

For the most part these phones are one of life's best inventions, but as we all know there are those who abuse and misuse the privilege of having a phone, and even when it isn't a colony phone, nowadays they are so easy to get and data plans being even easier to get, you can even see children as young as 12 or 13 with a text phone and this is what is scary.

I don't think I need to go into the details of what goes on when these young children have a text phone and what is being texted. I sometimes wonder if their parents are actually aware of what they are doing, but then again I can't see that they don't know. Maybe they don't know the fine details, but somehow I can't see that they would not be aware that they have a texting phone or access to Internet and face book.

 But I wonder about what we are saying when we are so much a part of all this, what light to the world are we showing? I don’t mean the cell phone and the internet as much as I mean Facebook, there are colonies that have web pages that are very interesting, and this is not what I am talking about, I mean the social medias, not the web pages themselves. I am not really familiar with MySpace and a few others, but I would assume they are in the same line as Facebook, which seems to be the most popular social networking site.

There was one called “The Hutterite Social Network” and I was a part of it when it was still “alive” J but even that one, was mostly arguing about differences in faith and beliefs. So when it was finally over, I think most of us breathed a sigh of relief. I honestly don’t think that it was what the owner intended it for, which is why I think he shut it down. The constant bickering, mostly by ex-hutterites who were trying to justify their reasons for leaving, was a not-so-pleasant socializing, and I do know a few people that left HSN in disgust.  I know I didn’t enjoy those discussions, especially when they were full of bitterness and hurt, which may or may not have been justified, but when it got to downright slandering of old and respected ministers and elders I thought: that’s it. Never did delete my account, but it has been shut down and not a moment too soon.

Facebook: At first glance it seems harmless enough, great place to socialize and connect with far away friends, but under the surface there is so much more, and this is the scary part. I admit I have been a part of Facebook for about 8 years, but it's only been the last 2 that I have really gotten involved, or as I say finally figured out how it works. :-) When I first started up on Facebook I did it to be connected with our boys that had left, but even then the few times I went to the city and logged in, I couldn't see much sense in it, especially when profanity ruled their status updates. But then more and more people I knew signed up for Facebook, people I could actually related to, and to comment on their status seemed like the ideal thing.

Of course, there are the what I call the '2 minuters', those who have an update every 2 minutes, these of course are usually the young 15, 16 year olds. And I am not kidding, every 2 to 5 minutes there is an update, and they have others like themselves who comment on them! It would boggle the mind, but when you really think about it, that is what Facebook is about. And that is another issue, how much time is being wasted. Not to mention that Face book is a little egotistical, (come on, even I have to admit that when I put up a status update, the first things I do is check to see how many likes and comments I get on it) there is a saying that is quite funny, but only because it is true. "Facebook is like a fridge, you know there is nothing there, but still you keep checking every 5 minutes."
Anyways all this may seem harmless and just fun, but what do you do when this gets boring? There are so many groups and interests to check out, and this is where the scary part comes in. So many questionable things on there plus the fact that no matter how much Facebook may say it does not allow pornography and the like, it is there; and the really scary part about this is, at all times we are only  2 clicks away from finding it.

There are those who will say "you find what you're looking for".  This may be true, but in some cases there is just a matter of stumbling over it.  In my case all I did was follow a like on someone's page, which turned out to be a gay designer, (I had no idea of this until I was on the page) and the explicit pictures there shocked me to no end. And the first thing that went through my head was: "and children can access this!" I don't want to know what this does to their minds! The thing of it is, that no matter how good your internet filter is, it does not block individual pages of Facebook, you have to block Facebook totally.

I recently deleted my account, and a few friends asked me why, and when I explained my reasons to them, they all agreed with me. First of all I don't like what Facebook was doing to me, when you spend every spare minute on there, and sometimes even late at night, it becomes a question of who is controlling whom? So having those little nagging doubts about the 'rightness' of it all, (we all know the saying 'whatever keeps us from good is evil') it was when I told my niece that no way was I letting her sign up for Facebook, and her mother said to me that I have to be an example to them, that I really started to seriously think about deleting my account. And when I found out that there was more on there, I actually decided to go ahead and do it. I certainly don't want the responsibility of having them say, "Well you're on there, why can't I?" So I decided to leave it while I still could. In no way am I judging those who are still on Facebook, as I said, it was a really great way to keep in touch, seeing friends that live far away and seeing how their families grow, but for myself, after thinking long and hard about it, I felt it was the best decision I could make and do for myself. Really I don't need that extra responsibility, and I must say I actually feel as if a burden has lifted itself from my shoulders. I don't wonder that our elders and ministers are so against internet and Facebook in general, they see and hear what it does to people.

It is addictive, I know of one wife who deleted her husband's account, he was spending his spare time at home on his phone instead of helping with the children or spending time with them. She was quite upset, (and justifiable so!) To his credit, he admitted it was the best thing his wife did.

For those who have children on face book all I can say is, please parents, monitor your children's activities, a lot of them are friends with people whom they have no idea who they are! And here we are publicly saying what we are doing, and where we are, and that as we all know can be too much information. I don't need to go into the details of the child predators out there.  As we all know how curious children and adults are, I think we can say we find out things by being curious, and sometimes we may find more than what we bargained for.

I recently read an article about internet and filters, and the one thing it stressed is that no matter how good a filter you have there are ways of getting past it, and sometimes it can be as innocent as typing in what you may think is a harmless word. Someone told me her nephew was doing a project for school and did a google search for 'cougars' and it just so happened he was doing it with his mother. She was beyond shocked, and the thing of it is, they have what they consider a good filter. Guess it's a good thing mother was there to filter further.

I really don't know how to conclude this article, so I'll just leave it at this, for all the 'good' internet and social medias and cell phones have, there is so much more 'evil' out there, and really, I seriously think that is what it is all about. Evil being rampant. Your comments and thoughts are welcome, please feel free to comment, also if you are a part of social medias, what you do to monitor your children and stuff.

               The time has come....

Well, and as my title suggests, the time has come, finally I have a minute to sit down and write about the splitting of HC and of LR. Which is easier said than done, As some of you may already know, I am at our new place, and I'll be honest, I didn't want to move, but you know, they say man gets used to everything, and I am here now, and I love it, I love my new house, the kitchen the church and yes, even my new job, kindergarten teacher! :-) Which is actually quite fun and interesting plus challenging, I just need more patience...

So...on July 22 which was on a Sunday, I woke up at 7:15 a.m. breakfast was at 7:30, so at breakfast I go in and sit down, and glance over at Mary who is not looking so good, so I asked her what was up with her and she said she didn't sleep a wink, awake all night worrying about the split which will happen today, and I went, "slept like a baby, what will happen will happen!" And she shook her head and wondered how I could be so calm about it. Well my reasoning is just that, what will happen will happen, no use losing sleep over something you can't prevent.

At 9:00 a.m. we all went to church, for some reason the girls were thinking about the song: "Als Lot und Abraham shieden" (As Lot and Abraham parted) which is a song usually sung when a colony splits, but the night before uncle Joseph had called over and told the ladies that the song "Jetzt ist die zeit beikommen" will be sung at church the next morning, which when we had all settled down his strong clear voice recited the first line and I opened my mouth to sing, and that's when it hit me. I looked around and saw all my friends and neighbours whom from today on may not be my neighbours and people whom I live with, and I started weeping, I couldn't sing, and every line our minister said and we sang only made me and quite a number of others to cry more. For those of you who are familiar with this song, (it can be found in "Die Lieder der Hutterischen Brueder" please take the time to read it. This song was written by Joseph Hauser,  when he with wife and children and with 73 souls,journeyed to Prussia, to establish community with the Mennonites there. in 1605. In every stanza he admonished the ones staying behind and those who were going with him, to lean on God and never to forget Him, some of the lines of this song are heart wrenching, the parting from familiar faces and place to an unknown future, in Prussia, (for those who have the chronicle of the Hutterian Brethern this sad story can be found on pages 561 - 565  I say sad mainly because it was an unsuccessful journey, and later they moved back to Moravia.) 

When we had done with the singing, he did a bit of a reading, did the prayer and then the text which was Psalm 121, a beautiful lehr, assuring us that no matter where we go in this world, God is with us. 

                                       Psalm 121
1. I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.
3. he will not suffer thy foot ot be moved: He that keepeth thee will not slumber.
4. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep,
5.The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.
6. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
7. The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: He shall preserve thy soul.
8. The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

This is an amazing and beautiful promise from our God. verses 5 to 8 are especially beautiful!


When church was out we all went home, the midday meal was quite, unusually so, after dinner we went to roll pie crust for Saskatoon berry pie, picked raspberries, and canned apricots, and thinking at the time and still do, I was so glad we were doing something, it would have totally driven us insane sitting at home and wondering what was going on in Stibble (the meeting) where the men were, they went at 1:30 p.m. and at 2:45 p.m. we were in the canning house when someone yelled in the door "the men are coming!" and everybody just disappeared, everybody that is, except aunt Rachel, Mary, Melissa and me. I was literally shaking, and kept saying over and over again: "I don't want to know what has happened!" But after a few minutes I mustered the courage, (yes, courage, because I finally figured out I was scared! scared of the verdict, weird I know, esp. coming from someone who so nonchalantly said, "what will happened will happen") so when i did go out first person I met was Abby, so I asked her "where are you" and she said "I am staying" and I went "hallelujah!" and she said "you're moving" I actually thought she was lying and said so, and she said "I'm serious, your family and uncle Dave's are moving to Lost River, with Johnvetter and Mike (our boss) well, not quite believing her I ran over to my brother Jonathan's where he told me "yes it was true" 

So when the shock was over, and when I say shock, I mean that I never figured that I would move, I was so sure I was going to stay, I went home and then we started calling relatives to come and help. Mother started packing in our storage room, into the big black boxes that we use in the garden. Because we had been so sure of not moving, we hadn't put away any boxes, which we had to collect from others who were not going to use them. And that night was a sleepless night. no matter how I thought it through, I couldn't see myself moving. But reality comes with the dawn, excitement was high the next morning, finding a ride back to LR to start to clean the walls so we could get that final coat of paint on. And that afternoon I got four angels (I called them) from ClearS colony, those girls were worth their weight in gold, painting the walls, cleaning the windows, floors and moving in, (I have to give credit to my sister, and aunts and cousins that were packing our belongings at home) Thursday night was the first night I spent at LR, It finally seemed real by then. Looking back it seems like a dream now, how we made it through the first week, I don't know, there wasn't just the moving in, there was also the garden work at home that had to be done. The word busy, just doesn't describe it.

Some Hutterite once said that the splitting of a colony is one of the biggest changes and challenges a Hutterite can experience, at the time when I read this I thought that was bunk, but I have to say that he certainly knew what he was talking about. Talk about emotions! From laughing to crying all in a split second!

The people that came to help, that first week we still ate in the little shop that had served as a kitchen for 6 years, there was not enough room for everybody, thankfully it was beautiful outside, which was where a lot of us ate. The amount  of food this all needed! I think at one point someone said there were over 150 people there! (and that's al ot, considering there were as many at home at HC)

The first week after we had moved here, everynight we had a thunderstorm, I have to mention this, the view from my house is just awesome! from both the south bay window and the north, at HC if I wanted a good vantage point to watch a lightning storm I had to go away from the houses to see it, here at LR, I can stand anywhere's in my house and see it all! No trees to hinder my view. (although I do miss my trees...) and the view from my window, I can see for miles!

We officially moved into our new kitchen 2 weeks after we split, we spent almost all day cleaning the kitchen, but what an awesome feeling to sit down in our new chairs in the dining room, to cook in the sparkling new kitchen, the bakehouse....and the kindergarten...

I mention the kindergarten because it involves me. The first week we had been here, the minister Johnvetter told me and two others that we would be taking turns taking care of the preschoolers, ages 3 to 5, this means every third day, they (all seven) of those children come over to the kindergarten school where I have breakfast waiting for them, after I have done the dishes, the children recite prayers and songs. I also have a few action songs, which seem to be the highlight of the reciting part. Then they have play time, depending on the weather, if nice outside, we go to the playground, if not, there are toys, and coloring books and puzzles to work at. at 10:30 a.m. we have lunch, and until 11:45 free time to play and then we get ready for a nap. until 2:30, after which we have a snack and at 3:00 they are sent home to their mothers. I must say this is a challenging job, but the rewards are great, the children have me on my toes, but there is always a laugh to be shared, a book to be read, a song to be sang, I just need a little more patience sometimes, as one of them informed me, he wasn't coming anymore if I got loud again! :-)

For those of you that know me you might think that I am too young to be in the kindergarten! :-) well here we have a missing generation of women, generally when a woman turns 50, she no longer has a cookweek and no longer works in the garden, and that's when she gets the job of kindergarten, until the age of 60. There is almost 30 years between the last lady that turned 60 and the three of us that are now kindergarten teachers. 

It has been an incredible busy month, we still go home to HC whenever there is garden work to be done, as here at LR we don't have a garden yet, but we will have one next year. plus there is alot to be done yet here also, the laundry room is cleaned, and the new wash machines are working, but as the natural gas line hasn't reached the colony yet, our dryers and some of the kitchen equipment isn't working yet. That means trucking the drying clothes up to the old wash house where there is one electric dryer, we are hoping by next month the gasline will be here and up and working. The new english school still has a few odds and ends to be finished with, but with harvest on us, it will have to wait for a rainy day, we still need to clean it and the desks, maybe this week or the next, soon, as school will start in a week or so...

So this is my story, as much as I didn't want to move, here I am and liking it! God truly is good and with us no matter where we are, He has and continues to bless us daily.  As the song goes: "There's a roof up above me, I've a good place to sleep, there's food on my table and shoes on my feet, You gave me Your love, Lord, and a fine family, Thankyou Lord, for Your blessings on me!"   Yes thank you Lord, for all that has been and for all that will be, Blessed be the name of the Lord.

                         On Singing...


I love to sing. Having said that, I think most of my friends would agree with me. I sing when the Spirit says sing. Although I must say I have cut back a bit. Sometimes I get strange looks when I think I'm alone and I'm singing and someone walks in on me, for example in the kitchen. Well not always strange looks but sometimes they walk away with a funny little smile. I don't care tho, I love to sing, this is me, take it or leave it. 


I love the songs we sing at church, to me, the 10 minutes are never long enough, and it is here where even the little children add their voices, some of them even closing their eyes and moving their head to the rhythm, opening their mouths as wide as they can, especially when it is a familiar song to them. When I go over to my brother's houses Saturday evenings, and they are in the middle of singing, all the children have a songbook, regardless if they can read or not, even my little 2 1/2 year old nephew has a songbook, joining in. One of my nieces is only just starting to read German, but she has a unique way of singing along with a song she doesn't know yet, if a word has 2 syllables or more, she can guess how it will end, and usually ends up being right! I thought that was pretty awesome. 


When we sing at church, the minister recites the first line of the verse and everybody sings that line, then he does the next and so on. It always amazes me how the tune can be kept up, most ministers can actually recite the line in a singsong tune that resembles the tune of the song. And as slow going as this may be, I like it. There are colonies that have enough songbooks for everybody, so the minister doesn't bother reciting the lines of the verses, and as much as I enjoy that too, I prefer the way we do it. 


(Interesting fact I learnt about singing in church, When our forefathers were being persecuted they met in the forest and other hideaways to hear a sermon. So when they were waiting for everybody to gather, they started to sing, and this has continued to this day. Also there were not enough songbooks for everyone, so the minister recited the lines.)


The way we sing varies from colony to colony, I think we sing fast, but I have been to other colonies where they sing a lot faster than we do, and I have been to colonies that sing a lot slower than we do, quite a lot slower. Seems to me the more conservative the colony, the slower they sing. Not sure if this is a fact, but it does seem to be that way.


Almost every colony has their young people that can sing. And here it varies from colony to colony again, some just have a gift. When they sing the goosebumps run up and down my back. At my colony we used to have a choir, which kinda fell apart a few years ago, our best tenors and bass singers, married and the newer guys just weren't interested in singing. Then our girls started marrying away, and now, well when we do something we sing as a group, where our ladies sing along too, but the choir practise stopped a couple of years ago. 


Some of our boys are awesome guitar players, and this is something that is kind of iffy, musical instruments. They were unheard of, 15 years ago, but now, even tho they are still not "officially allowed, they are unofficially tolerated in the basement of our homes. I have tried to teach myself to play the guitar, but I guess it's just not in me. So I just make sure I'm around when those guys play so I can sing along. 


When we get up early to pick vegetables or go somewhere's in our bus, there is always someone or two who can pull out a little black songbook, to get us started on a morning song, Since these are songs that most of us learned to recite a long time ago when we were in german song, we don't all need a booklet, although sometimes we forget the order of the verses. :-) The first song to be suggested it usually "Auf auf my geist zu loben" and then "Mein Gott nun ist es vieder Morgen" followed by "Ermuntre dich Oh Seele mein"


Saturday evenings are times where every family sings in their homes. I love sitting outside after we are done singing and listening to the ones that are still singing. The air resounds with the strong male voices and the higher notes of the women and children. There is just a feeling of peace that surrounds me at that moment and I think this is what a glimpse of heaven would be like.


To conclude, I love to sing...

               The "Emily" books

These are by far my favorite L.M.Montgomery books! And I have read them all, of course the "Anne" books are more famous, and they are good too, they do not come close to the "Emily" books, at least in my opinion. There are those that would disagree with me, most loyal fans of L.M.Montgomery prefer the "Anne" books, and as much as I myself love Anne, there is something about Emily that awakens a kindred spirit in me. 


These books are much "darker" than the Anne books, I'm not sure why the word darker works here, but it just seems more appropriate, Emily is a more a deep thinker than Anne is, her life is so much more complicated, maybe because she actually knew her father before he died, whereas Anne never knew her parents at all. Also Emily's aunt Elizabeth is a much harder character to love than Marilla is. She is harsher with Emily, maybe because Emily's mother defied her family to run of and marry Emily's father, and her aristocratic family have never truly forgiven her for that. But duty calls, and when Emily's father dies, her mother's family rallies around to draw lots for Emily at the funeral, which Emily witnesses hiding beneath a table. Hearing the unflattering things about her father, Emily gives herself away, and this eavesdropping does not endear her to her aunts and uncles. Especially aunt Ruth, who seems to have an extra malice regarding Emily. But as the story progresses, even aunt Ruth seems to develop a fondness for Emily, this is shown to us when Emily gets herself in a scrape, where her reputation suffers, aunt Ruth rises majestically to the occasion, and "rescues" our heroine with all the style and fluster as only aunt Ruth can. Where Emily decides that she may never "love" aunt Ruth she at least comes to regard her in a different light.

We are introduced to Teddy early on as she moves to New Moon with aunts Elizabeth, aunt Laura, and cousin Jimmy, aunt Elizabeth having drawn the short straw, which means Emily will live with them, but all the other aunts and uncles will contribute to her education. Cousin Jimmy is quote: "not quite all there" having been pushed into a well by aunt Elizabeth when they were children, by accident, but Emily loves him, although there are times when he scares her when he reaches a dark place inside him.


Teddy, we are introduced to him almost right away, and there we all "know" that he is the one for Emily, all except Emily of course, but the course of love never did run smoothly and L.M.Montgomery makes sure of this by bringing in Dean Priest. This is one character whom I never did like when I was younger, I was so angry at Emily for her stupid pride and for giving in to his proposal, which came at a weak moment for her, so I can understand and maybe forgive her for allowing it to happen. But at the last moment, a month before the wedding, Emily "changes" her mind. I don't want to spoil the book for those of you who haven't read it yet, but I am eternally grateful for the "reason", even if it did give me the shivers.


Being older now, though, I can understand the attraction to Dean, there was something about him that called to something deep and mysterious inside Emily, He had been all over the world and had witness a few things which she had only ever dreamed about. Intelligent and mysterious, he is able to say the things which Emily soul longed for. But having said that, I still love Teddy for Emily, nobody can and did compare to the sweet love that they had, which of course Emily didn't know or want until it was almost too late.


There are two things which I require before I purchase a book, the first is that it has to make me cry, (and these books make me cry every time I read them.) The second, if it's a book that I read more than two times, that is a requirement right there. I read them for sure once a year, and every time I read them, esp. the last one, Emily's Quest, I cry, unashamedly and unabashedly, I cry. I tell myself, this time I won't, I know exactly what will happen and I won't cry. but here is where L.M.Montgomery is queen of the written word. I have never met anyone who has read these books and loved them, who hasn't cried. Those who haven't, only say the books were so, so. Well I guess they are missing the whole point, and the best part of them all. I can't not tell this incident, one night I was reading the last book and was right at the parts where I cry, when my brother Gary came in, I was facing away from him, (I was already in bed) and he came in and asked mundane questions of me, where I was only giving him yes and no or no answers at all. The next morning I was telling this to my sister Matilda, and telling her how I couldn't talk to him because I was crying and didn't want him to know, he overheard us. That evening he came into my bedroom again took the book from my hands and walked around where he could see my face, asking and laughing all the while if I was crying! Grrrrr! He figured I was completely nuts, but then again I don't think he ever a read a book in his life, unless he absolutely had to in school, so there is no way he would have understood. He kept doing this for about a week or so, before he finally quit, good thing I was done reading that one! I think to this day he is so sorry he didn't know to check why I wasn't talking at that time! 


When I say these books are much darker than the Anne books, I mean that L.M.Montgomery went a bit into the dark side with premonition I guess is the word I'm looking for here, Emily inherits this from her grandmother who had the "sight" as they call it. There are a number of incidents in which she unintentionally uses this. She is not comfortable with this, and would wish it otherwise. For myself, I am not comfortable with it either, I am of the mind in this day and age, "traumer sindt luenger" (Dreams are lies) but I must say they add the mysteriousness to these books, and that is part of their appeal. 


For those of you that have not read the "Emily" books yet, please do so. I can't promise you will become a fan, or will prefer them over the "Anne" books, because as far as I can see, you either love them or not. Most people prefer Anne, but there are a few Emily fans out there.


At any rate I hope you enjoy them to a point. Please feel free to comment on whether you do or not, and why or why not! 

                          Storms

I love a storm, be it a winter storm or a summer storm, there is something about them that just calls to me. I think I take after my Barbara ankela, nothing she loved more than a thunderstorm, either outside watching it or standing at the window, watching it rain.

When there is a lightning storm you can be sure I am watching from the best view point, (if it's not raining) sitting and watching the lightning and listening to the thunder. Somewhere's I read if you count the seconds between the lightning and the thunder, that's how many miles the lightning is from you, not sure how accurate that is, but I go by it. The clouds that roll in dark and ugly, the wind, the smell of rain just before it does, all part of what I love. I am usually joined by almost half of my colony, after all I think not just me inherit this love of storms from my grandma and her sister, almost all their children and grandchildren did too. 

Last year we watched a tornado cell form just north of our colony, the clouds rolling and roiling, spinning, my disappointment was (shame on me!) that no tornado actually formed from that cloud, at least not in our area. It's not that I really wish for one, but I really think I would love to be a tornado hunter! Fascinating! Of course the last storm we had I was in the basement, surrounded but 3 screaming children. If it weren't for them I would have been out there watching it, and although we didn't have a tornado we had the winds of one that was 20 minutes south of us, actually uprooted a tree right next to the house where I was cowering with the children. I wanted to go out and take pictures just when the storm hit, and if you have ever seen a hurricane on TV, that's what the trees and wind and rain looked like, it was only when my little niece started screaming at me that she was scared that I came to my senses, that I was responsible for these children and to get to that basement now!

When a storm hits late at night when I'm in bed, I pull up my shade, turn my pillow to the foot of the bed and watch from the comfort of my bed, the only thing is I have a small window so my view is limited. and that is how I fall asleep, to the rumbling of the thunder.

In winter time there is nothing better than having a blizzard when I'm safe and warm in my house. The winds howling around the corner of the house is a comforting sound. This past winter didn't leave us with a lot of snow, we only had one storm, and I was on my way to the city when it hit, wasn't all that bad, although the other people along were quite scared, for myself, if it's not a Laura Ingalls Wilder blizzard it's not a blizzard. Of course a lot of people think I'm a bit strange for saying so. But seriously, my idea of winter is cold, with lots of snow and an occasional blizzard thrown in. But I wish everybody safe and warm in their houses when it hits. A number of years ago a guy we knew from another colony was in a truck when a blizzard hit, and he decided to cut across the field to go home, he got lost and confused, they found him the next morning sitting beside a tree. It was a sad funeral, he was so close to home, and even if he would have stayed in the truck as the other guy did, he would have made it.

I feel God's presence and almighty power in a storm. Makes me feel as small and insignificant as I am. Standing on a hill watching the uncoming storms, nothing compares. And truly I can sing then,"how great Thou art!" 

My God is an awesome God! 

My thoughts and reflections on 'American colony'

I guess my title will let you know what this post is about today. With all the hula loop going on about the National Geographic film on the Hutterites from King Colony that is being aired every week, I think it's time I say my piece. :-)

First of all I will say how disappointed I am in the members of King Colony and that they chose to participate in this disgraceful representation of Hutterite life. I understand that they were to a point unaware of how deceitful and cunning NG was about the filming, and that when they did realized just how far NG was willing to go to exploit some sensitive issues and the airing of dirty laundry, and they wanted to pull out, they were threatened by NG that they had signed a contract, and it was no longer an option. Well there is a saying, "nobody held a gun to their heads". It has made we wonder: "How far are we willing to go to compromise what we believe in for any amount of money?" Or as another saying goes, "Selling my birthright" losing our integrity... For the outsiders that see this, please don't lose your faith in us, and we will survive this.

As for NG, I think I can safely say, that they lost a lot of credibility with a great many people. To quote someone who said that this didn't change his view of NG. "Represents nature, but denies it's Creator" Well I must say I am saddened and disgusted with NG. For all that I never liked the evolution pushing that they did, I still enjoyed the magazines and the films. But never again will I read or watch anything by them again where I won't wonder 'how much of this is true and factual and how much has been acted and exploited for their own selfish gain and publicity?' Until now I thought they were admirable and honest when portraying a culture, this film has shattered that illusion. 

Come to think of it, a year or so ago I saw a film called "The devil's playground" this is a film about the Amish youth, where supposedly they go completely wild and party and what not, and their parents can do nothing and don't do anything about it, it's their 'rumpaspringen' before they get baptized and join the church, kinda sowing your wild oats, when I saw this film I was actually upset because I don't believe it is as bad as it was shown. I remember arguing with some of our colony members, that it isn't quite that way, that they are exaggerating, and they were quite adamant that it was exactly that way, I said it was acting and that no true Amish would participate in such a film. This film of the Hutterites finally made them realize that it was acting.

Can this even be called a film of the Hutterites? Absolutely no mention of why we are living in community, can I say that some of those members have no idea as to why they are there? The constant line: "what will the elders say" and never a mention of: "what would Jesus say" The complete disrespect and the swearing, the using of God's name in vain, deliberately knowing they were being filmed is so sad, really, I think they are to be pitied and prayed for. Who and what for are we living our lives? Isn't it for Jesus and not our elders? Who are there to guide and lead us, and not to be feared as shown.

I really don't think this will discolor the worlds view of Hutterites, at least not those that know us, but for those that don't, I think it will. yes, we have faults, yes we may at some point not always agree with our elders decisions, and yes we may grumble about it, but in no way do I lose my disrespect for any of them, and in no way would I go on national television to air my dirty laundry.

Not once did NG want to know why we live our lives in the community, for those of King colony that did try to tell them why, they weren't shown or only a few seconds, obviously NG wasn't interested in the spiritual side, only in the shock value. The lengths they went through to show Hutterites in a bar, Bar age in Montana is 21, so they went to Canada to film those young girls drinking where bar age is 18/19. To be sure, they shouldn't have been in any bar, but just to show the extremes. The Hutterite girls that Wesley is flirting with at the wedding in Canada, are not hutterites, they are actors in hutterite clothes. Obvious to us, but not to outsiders. C'mon!

I think enough has been said by me, but I must say I do feel better, :-) As upset and disgusted as I am with National Geographic, I will continue to watch the shows, and read the magazines, and although I won't cancel my subscription, (after all my money is in it! ) I certainly won't renew it when it does run out.

                          Books and me...


   Books and I have had a very long and happy relationship, ever since I discovered the written word, I have been in love, much to the dismay and concern of my mother, who has always lamented that I will never learn anything useful as long as I (and I quote) "have my nose in a book". I have learned to prioritize, but I still love to read, only now I read when my work is done, (sometimes tho I still take that book in hand when I have more pressing work, but that guilty little feeling is there...) 


   I remember sitting in my desk at school, sneaking peeks in the book I was reading at present, sometimes even putting it in my lap and pretending to do my school work and actually deceiving (or so I thought) my teacher by glancing into my lap, while pretending to do my math, but after being "caught" a couple of times, I saved my reading for recess, where instead of going out to play with the other girls and boys, I stayed inside reading, until I was chased outside to "get some fresh air" where I took my book and headed for the trees just out behind the school and settled in the tall grass, usually right next to the other bookworm in school, Debbie.


   I grew up on Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew, still have some of the old books, :-) I always thought if I ever grew up and got married if I had a little girl I would call her Nancy, I grew up, but as I am still not married, I guess Nancy will remain a memory. :-) But I solved many a mystery with her! 

   One of my favorite books is "The King's Daughter" by Suzanne Martel, To quote someone else: "This is the best pioneer book I have ever read," and it really is, or one of them. It is a story about a young orphaned girl in France who was sent to Canada to marry a widower with two children, whose first wife was scalped and killed by Indians. It is a book that makes me laugh and cry, although I laugh more than cry, the heroine is quite bold and sassy, which gets her in trouble with the nuns at home and later with her husband. She is only fifteen years old which makes her only so much more someone we can relate to...She dreams of someone she met years ago, but she takes her life in stride and deals with what fate hands out to her, the widower is supposed to marry her best friend, but on the ocean voyage from France to Canada her friend falls in love with someone else and she steps in to marry her intended husband. As women are scarce in these early years of Canada, this man doesn't care too much, he is marrying for the sake of his children who need a mother, but as the days and weeks pass, he realizes he didn't marry a weak, meek, and  timid young girl from the orphanage as he thought he was getting. Absolutely one of my favorite books! 


   Going through my bookshelf, I have all the Harry Potter books, seriously I wasn't going to read them, when they first came out, not that I had any compunction about the so called witchcraft issue, but "they were for kids!" I thought, but then a friend of mine got the first book from the library and I glanced through it and just reading the first paragraph got me interested, I read the first one in one night, then I requested the other 2 from the library, the waiting list was over 300 people! By the fourth book I was buying them as soon as they were released. I have never felt guilty about reading them, to me there is nothing as wrong as some reviews were trying to point out, Harry Potter has never claimed to be anything than a great book with great characters with personality's that we can easily relate to, there is the struggle between good and evil, and Harry has always taken the right side when he had the choice between good and evil. What really upsets me about the debate that Harry Potter books are evil and satanic is that they are not! They have never claimed to be a Christian book, but I do not at any time believe that these books will lead children to practise witchcraft or scorcery, but some of the so-called Christian books that are out there and being read by our children and adults, are more harmful to us than Harry Potter. This is taking a bit longer than I thought it would, and I really wasn't going to go into this debate, so I won't at this time. I also want to write more about my favorite books, but I will do so later, please be patient with me, I don't seem to have as much time as I thought I did to blog, but I will as I find time, please feel free to comment! 






   
   

                      On first responding

First of all, I want to say that I love being a First Responder, I have been one now for a long time...
I was 17 when I took my first course and I haven't looked back yet. I have always thought that if I didn't live in a colony, I would be a Paramedic or at least an EMT.


There is nothing that compares to the rush of adrenaline when my radio goes off, if it's in the middle of the night or during the day, those few minutes until we arrive on scene and until it's over, I can hardly find anything to compare, when my brain takes over and I work on the patient until ALS (advanced life support) arrives, are what only fellow trauma junkies know what it feels like. 


I prefer working on the patients, as to staying and comforting the family members, that is one part of  first responding where I have to say, I am not comfortable. It seems to me my mind goes blank, so when I usually land up with family, I try to distract them from what my fellow FR's are doing and talk about mundane things, sometimes, depending on how serious the call, I usually land up holding and comforting the mother, or whoever, and that is hard, all those courses you take, there is really none where it teaches how to deal with the family, we have had calls where the patient is dead or close to, and those are the hardest ones ever, esp. when there is a baby or child involved, those are absolutely the worst calls in the world. No amount of adrenaline can make up for the feeling of utter helplessness when you have done all you can and it wasn't enough. The rewards are great, and yet sometimes, you come home and just cry and cry.


One of our first fatalities came right after we had finished our CPR course, we got a call for an MVA (motor vehicle accident) when we arrived a passing EMT came out to meet us and told us the lady was deceased, well, we were so gung ho we looked at each other and said: "we know CPR" and she said: "not in this case." To this day I believe if she hadn't been there to stop us, we would have done CPR on her, (she had a serious head injury and had died on scene)


One of the worst calls I have responded to was when a 12 year old boy hung himself, when I arrived on scene, the other FR's were already doing CPR. The Ambulance from the city arrived and took him in all the while continuing with CPR. (But they stopped CPR on the way in) The boy's mother was standing there crying and screaming, so we took her inside, and just held her and comforted her, but she was hysterical and after fainting a few times we called an ambulance for her too. What boggles my mind is why a  12 year old boy would reach the point where he no longer wanted to live. If it was an accident or  a deliberate attempt I guess we will never know. And because of patient confidentiality we cannot follow up on calls, but this being a neighbour, we never heard, also we cannot talk about anything regarding any call. Which is kind of hard, because talking about traumatic experiences are healing in itself, but there are awesome programs out, where when we have had a really 'bad" call, we get together in a group and talk about it, they can get pretty emotional sometimes tho, but it's all part of the program.


I have never assisted at a birth, although there have been a number of close calls, I would love to, after seeing death so often, I think watching life come into this world would be awesome.


People ask me how I can stand the blood, actually it has never really affected me, one of our instructors has gory pictures which he showed to us, He called it desensitizing, and I really think he has a point there, I have come on scenes where there was blood, broken bones, etc. and you swallow and go about doing what you can.


When I took my course we were able to go to the city and take a ride-a-long with the paramedics and EMT's, talk about rushes! Flying through the streets, sirens and flashers on, cars getting out of your way, going through red lights...all the while thinking, 'not wishing anybody harm, but if it's gonna happen, it might as well happen when I'm on a ride-a-long!' the paramedics and EMT's are quite friendly, I think it being that a Hutterite girl is actually doing this, it was quite interesting to them.


In conclusion I must say, it's not for everybody, but for myself, I love it. The only thing that is not so nice or good, is when I come home from a call (and here is where every Hutterite will know exactly what I am talking about) is when I walk out from the car and the questions fly, and I cannot answer them. Legally I can't even say if the call was medical or an accident, but this is where I do say if it was a medical or an accident, I have to give them something, I know for myself I would really like to know what is going on...But through the years I think most of our people understand, but they still ask in hopes of hearing the gory morbid details. :-)

                  Not what I am but what I can be...

This is going to be a short one, for my first. I have had dreams of being this successful blogger, with so many subjects to go on, now that I am here, my mind went blank. And I had such a beautiful title too! Not what I am but what I can be.


Guess I could start from there, what am I? well, first and foremost a simple Hutterite girl, trying to live for Jesus, and failing every day! But what I could be? well there is the wondrous thing about that, with Jesus I can be whatever He wants me to be. (which brings me to a quote which someone once wrote in my autograph book years ago:) "May you grow to be as beautiful as God wanted you to be when He first thought of you" Isn't that just inspiring? What should hold us back from being what He wants us to be? Nothing but self, and I am the first to admit my self often wins.


So...what shall I be? thought provoking question! I am what I am, (smile) It's already 11:30, was in Saskatoon today for doctors appointment, and I have a raging headache, so why am I blogging? Good question, I'm going to bed now, maybe my head will be clearer tomorrow and I will start to make sense!

There are a number of subjects I could talk on, there is a double wedding coming up next week, and at the end of June, Hillcrest is making plans to split with Lost River! So I'll sleep on a few more subjects, and hopefully come up with something intersting! Good night blog page, sleep well for I have plans for you!

                                  My day today...

Today we made squares for the wedding, well, not for the wedding really, for the shower which we will have on Sunday, the week before the wedding, just for the woman and the girls, we are hoping our nearest Lehrerleut colony ladies and girls will be able to come for this shower, guess we'll find out come Sunday,

I hope to post some pictures of the squares we made, there were quite a few! and do my feet hurt! :-) and to top it all of, someone pointed out I had scorched my back in the new (everyday) dress I was wearing. guess I made a face and grimaced and groaned and said a few choice words, (no, I didn't say anything I shouldn't have, but I was quite upset) where then Melissa smiled and said, "you know if this was in a Young Companion story, the girl would find the moral behind her scorched back" and I went: "Pray tell" (quite sarcastically I must say, because I knew she was dying to tell me) and she said: "well that she had too much pride in this new dress" I must say I stuck my tongue out at her...(shame, shame) and returned with: "guess I am not writing for Young Companion" But I did see what she meant, it is/was a favourite "new" dress, oh well, it's not that badly burned, not that I can't wear it anyways...I still have no idea how it happened tho.

The important thing is the squares are done, also made some slush, alcoholic and non. Missed the sampling, :-( not that I minded, I'll get some at the shower...

There is still my dress to be finished, for the wedding, hemming and snaps, I will get mom to do my snaps, she will, :-) but the hemming is a 5 minute job at the most, and I am a procrastinator of the worst kind! Tomorrow we are doing noodles for the wedding, and our garden lady said she wants to get those plants in the ground, onions, tomatoes, peppers...I think the danger of the frost  is past, but we did have rain the last week, so we couldn't get in, I think it's supposed to rain this weekend again, we have about a days work of seeding left to do also.

We plant and seed and water and hoe and do all our part, But God gives the blessings and the increase...